Bonding- Finding Our Way to Each Other
Expectant parents can find it hard to imagine when and how they will feel a connection with their child, and very few of our parents described an instant connection. Instead, they spoke about learning how to be close, with relationships growing slowly through everyday moments. Anxieties about connection can also re-emerge when parents return to work after a long period of parental leave. If you need help, see our resource page for a list of helpful organisations.
Hard to Imagine the Bond
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I also think about when I give birth and how it will feel and a lot of people say it's amazing, but like some people have said that, like it takes a while to bond with the baby. I'm sort of unsure whether I'll immediately bond or not, I guess. But, I think, I think that I will. Another thing I've had on my mind, I think in the questionnaire there was a question about baby talk, and I don't feel that comfortable doing baby talk but I'm kind of thinking when the babies here I maybe will start to do that. But it's just hard to imagine what he's going to be like and like, I don't, I don't feel that my bonds are strong now as it would be when he's here. So, I can imagine maybe me doing that in the end. We used to have a dog, and I always used to baby talk the dog so I can imagine what that would be like
I Didn't Know How to Express Love to Him
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When I was holding him for that first few months, first month, it was like, I didn't know really what to do and it felt like, it felt kind of weird, like you're holding yourself in a way, and I didn't really know how to actually express love to him, I had to, I think I had to learn that over time and as he became more responsive I felt like he's, okay starting to become more of this individual person now.